Mr.Perfect

Every hopeless romantic has often dreamed about finding their perfect soulmate. Many of us have even doubted if they exist. I often find myself watching sappy Hallmark movies wondering if I’ll meet a handsome man in the elevator and experience love at first sight or, if I will be like Belle falling for a beast on the outside who is really a kind gentleman on the inside. But as life progresses those fantasy dreams start to fade and reality checks in, reminding us of all the reasons why a fairy tale ending is not likely.

In all the movies I’ve watched the guy and the girl start out as friends, develop feelings, then share a romantic moment and a kiss under the stars. The End. Happily Ever After. I’m starting to realize that in the real world, IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT! Every time I like a boy I either ignore him, completely make a fool of myself if I do talk to him, or just run away. I’m not exaggerating. I thought a guy was going to try to talk to me so I “walked” down the hall extremely fast. Straight into the class. The class we both had. Together. It was an embarrassing day that I don’t want to relive.

Just for the fun of it let’s talk about another stupid thing I did around this guy. You guys are gonna love this: He was writing a paper about a sensitive subject and we had talked about it some but not much. Class was over and he stayed to work so what did I do? I said “Well, have fun with that” in the most awkward voice ever. That’s not even the worst part though. I told him to have fun writing about a subject that is definitely not fun. What is wrong with me?!!!! The next day he didn’t talk to me or acknowledge that I even existed so at this point he probably thinks I’m a heartless nut job, which is not entirely wrong.

Have you ever seen that movie P.S I Love You about the girl who’s husband died but wrote her letters to help her through life afterwards? Ya well I feel like that awkward guy she talks to in the closet. The one who has a crush on her but says the stupidest things when he’s around her. For example, after realizing the girl was hiding in the closet he asked her what she was doing. She said she was trying to figure out why God killed her husband. He said “let me know if you need any help with that.” Seriously? This woman’s husband just died and instead of comforting her you offer to take part in her grief?? Oh but there’s more. He tells her that his rudeness is a “syndrome” he has to take medication for. I almost died after I heard that one. But I can relate. We’re both shy awkward people with good hearts who just don’t say the right things at the right time. If only those people we embarrass ourselves around knew that.

Another thing that bugs me is that I usually crush on the nerdy guys that don’t have a whole lot going for them in the looks department. 2 of my old crushes were not the handsomest and don’t even get me started on this one guys beard. He looked like a crow. Sorry. That’s mean. Going for the not so handsome, nerdy ones is fine. I thought maybe that’s just my type, until I met a super cute athlete who would smile at me in class and give me butterflies that made me want to puke when he talked to me. Then I thought, he’s cute. Something must be wrong. It could never work! Yet despite that thought I still find myself doing stupid things like literally running away. So, Mr. Perfect, if you’re reading this, please note that although I may act like it, I’m not completely crazy. Just a little nervous sometimes. My heart is often in the right place, but head isn’t always.

I have never been in a relationship. Shocker right? I’ve had friendships that felt like relationships when they ended, but never the real deal. Dating is a weird topic in my family because no one really talks about it. Every time me or my siblings would ask we were simply told to wait. I have no regrets about waiting, just hopes. Still waiting for the right man God has for me and hoping I don’t scare him off before I get a chance to know him.

Hope you enjoyed my embarrassing stories and feel free to comment about any of it in the section below. Thanks for reading!